Well I Wonder ...

All men have secrets and here is mine so let it be known...

Saturday, November 27, 2004

All Things Must Pass...

Listening to : Hooverphonic - Stereophonic Sound Spectacular

Three days or so ago I wrote an amazing post about what had been happening in my life and about the weekend just as I promised I would. It got lost in the big Blog-hole. I was a little angry. I know you're all waiting so I guess I'll try again.

Back track.

Monday (the 14th) a meeting notice went up on the bulletin board at work. Wednesday morning, management announced that they were closing the smaller headrest plant across the road from us, and eventually 140 jobs would be lost between Christmas and April 1st. Including mine. It hit me a lot harder than I thought it would. I couldn't eat. I started getting panic attacks. I went into hibernation mode to try to avoid dealing with it and slept for 16 hrs straight. That coupled with not eating, threw my body way out of sorts and I was becoming a nervous wreck fast. I lost almost 10 pounds in just a couple of days. I haven't been less than 170 pounds since high school but there I was weighing 168 when I finally checked.

Cath was starting to get tired of me moping about the house voicing my insecurities. Not only that but Katya, most likely sensing the tension, was really grinding on Cath the last few days. So the decision was made that I would take Katya up to A&J's place for the weekend for their sons birthday party on Saturday and to try to break me out of my funk. It worked to say the least.

Andrew was very supportive and understanding. In the nearly 10 years or so they've been married he's been through countless jobs in all kinds of tough circumstances. For someone like him, my situation is familiar territory. For me the unwanted sense of cloudiness and uneasiness about my family's future was disturbing as I've never really been jobless. It was good to hear how he got through it all, to where he has a job in his selected field now, and with a reasonable sense of security after so many dead ends. He gave me a bunch of suggestions, but mostly it was just the bold confidence he had for the future that helped.

And then there's Jodi. She's such a good friend. She has a way of brightening the corners of any dark room with her infectious personality. The perfect pick-me-up. We hung out quite a bit watching movies (Pool Hall Junkies rocks!), eating Fun Dip and playing Pac Man. We talked. We prayed. I feel much better.

Needless to say Katya had a tonne-o-funne. (We measure fun in metric around here!) Cath got some much needed rest both days. I didn't get as much sleep as I should have but got the encouragement that I needed. It was a good weekend for all involved.

So one last story like I promised. At one point Andrew was heading out for something. He began to put on the jacket resting on the back of the chair in the dining room. He put it down a moment later when he realized it was Jodi's and went over to the closet to get his own. He pulled open the sliding door began to reach for his coat. He immediately stopped and looked down with a puzzled look on his face. There in the closet stood their daughter Moira smiling away. She promptly stepped out of the closet, wandered by everyone in the dining room and walked down the hall to her bedroom to go play as if this were nothing out of the ordinary. Andrew and I just looked at eachother blankly for a moment and then burst out laughing. Did that rally just happen? How long had she been standing there smiling away in the closet? And what does go through the mind of a three year old girl anyways???

Monday, November 08, 2004

Good Junk

Listening to : Good Junk mix

I made this mix on the fly and burned it just before we went to jam on Saturday. I haven't been able to stop listening to it in the car since. Sorry I don't have all the exact song titles - some of it is downloaded.

1. Ladytron - Discotrax
2. Manic Street Preachers - Miss Europa Disco Dancer
3. Soviet - Circuit Love
4. Pony Express - (track #3 from thier newest release)
5. The Jesus and Mary Chain - She
6. (unknown throbbing trance tune originally mislabelled as Interpol) - Metropolis
7. Death Cab For Cutie - All Is Full Of Love (awesome Bjork cover)
8. Garbage - Cherry Lips
9. Codex - (track#5 - have to ask Jeremy - he plays bass on it!!)
10. Broken Social Scene - Stars And Sons
11. The Jesus and Mary Chain w/ Mazzy Star - ?
12. The Killers - Mr. Brightside
13. Interpol - Not Even Jail
14. The Sneaker Pimps - Loretta Young Silks
15. Ambulance Ltd. - Swim
16. Goldfrapp - Strict Machine
17. Lali Puna - Call 1-800-FEAR

I know, I know, I know, what the heck is a Garbage track doing in there? It just fit with the mood. The flow on it is great even though I didn't even pay attention to the arrangement. Somehow I don't think it would matter what order they were in as it sounds equally great on shuffle.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Heaven Up Here

Listening to: What Difference Does It Make? - I really shouldn't have to tell you....

Craig, Gin and Jess are here as well as my sweet little daughter who turned 4 today. We're all just chilling, listening to the Smiths first album on vinyl and the newer Bunnymen remasters reissue cds today. Very enjoyable.

We spent last evening in Vineland jamming with Satic Dad. Hee hee! Sorry, bad inside joke... The jam session was stellar or at least close to it. There's some really good chemistry between us. Its very exciting. There's so much potential for good writing there. Ry and I want to start formulating some actual songs soon and put out an EP or two. The running joke last night was to have a band that only put out EP's a la Mellowdrone (at least thus far).

About that inside joke... A few years back Jer and I had this band and we were going to be playing with another local band called Static Dad. So Jer makes up a wack of posters to put up around the area. He comes up all proud and stuff and says, "I made a bunch of posters." I took one look at the poster and said, "That's pretty good Jer but, um, who's Satic Dad?" He looked down at the huge stack of useless posters and groaned.

So anyways, this is how it was supposed to go down. I was gonna tell Ry that Jer never likes my band names and that he would have to suggest one for me as his own. Now Ry has no knowledge of our previous band experiences. I was going to tell him to ask Jer about the name Satic Dad. And when he suggested it, Jer would die laughing cuz he would know right off it wasn't his idea, and Ry wouldn't have a clue why he was laughing so hard. Oh man, I really wish it went off as planned but some one mentioned it before I could set up Ry. Oh well, would have been sweet.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Listening to: Haunted by Love and Rockets

Well I suppose if I can rave about other peoples pies I might as well boast about Cath's killer tourtiere tonight. She made a meat pie to die for tonight. In fact, I would say it was the best that I can remember having.

Cath has been so amazing lately. Through all the crap that has been happening she has been so good. There were many times this year, even recently, that I wondered if we were going to last. It's not supposed to be that way when its your tenth anniversary, but life tends to happen whether you like it or not. Most of this year has definitely been "not" but lately things have been getting better. I know a couple of weeks of improved communication and effort plus a good freakin tourtiere isn't the stuff marital bliss is made of but its taken me from near hopeless to hopeful. I smile more. She's being real cute too...